I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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