I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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