I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
