I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
