I hate your face
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Are my feet made of real feet?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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