I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
