wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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