oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
