I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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