He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
