4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
