on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
