I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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