Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
