yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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