turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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