He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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