she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
