somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
