I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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