there's paper in my vomit.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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