Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
