perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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