he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
