we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
