I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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