I want you more than these girls want KFC
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
