thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
