I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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