he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
