Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
