What did we do last night that was yellow?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
