So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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