The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
