how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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