the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
