chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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