I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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