piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
