Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
