walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
