no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
