I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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