You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
