Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
