is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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