Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
