you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
