i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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