Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
