We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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