I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
